Reflections: My Mind, Right, Now

Focus on the present“

They say.

I am actually finding it incredibly difficult to do that. I had this realization that I am a very future-oriented person, which means..

I think a lot in terms of what is going to come.

I think about tomorrow’s schedule.

I think about how my club will look like weeks from now.

I think about my deadlines 4-5 weeks from now and have a vague picture of how am I going to handle them.

In other words, I am nearly incapable of focusing on what I am doing on the present, and at the same time the things to come look overwhelming for me. 

And there will always be things to come.

Maybe, maybe the only thing I need to do right now is to clear my mind and focus entirely on finishing one task by one. But at times, especially right now, what is going to come this semester is so overwhelming that…

…I am actually somewhat paralyzed by the very thought of them. The idea of not keeping them on my mind, even if for a moment, feels like an invisible sword hanging right above my head by a fine thread. It can just fall on me any time. 

It could be just me thinking things, but I really didn’t expect the fight to come to me so soon.

Gotta catch that one breath to remind me of my present state, self, and focus. Then pull that trigger and shatter those boundaries.

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